Special
by Welcome To My Head
Summary: What makes him so special? Bryan ponders the object of his interest. The result of a brainfart. Yaoi though nothing graphic.


**A/N**: Back from the dead I suppose. Nothing else to say than I hope you enjoy my brainfart. I apologize for grammatical and spelling errors.

**Disclaimer**: In Imaginationland it is all mine. What did you say? Not in Imaginationland...? Damnit. Still don't own.

* * *

I watch you day after day and you never notice me. It is difficult to handle I don't deny it.

This feeling you stir in me, I have never liked it yet it has always been there, making me act stupid when you're around, the exact person I want appear the best before. I get butterflies just by talking to you, afraid that one day I'll slip up and let you _know._ Well, not really afraid. I fear nothing. It's just that you would think I'm a freak for feeling this way. For feeling at all. To you I am a bastard pure and simple. I am angry and sarcastic, rude and violent. It is not what I truly want you to see but it is easier this way because then you won't have to know and if you do not know then you cannot hate me more than you already do.

But it is difficult seeing you with other people. Tyson never cared about the distance in your manner; he broke through every shield I ever wished to crack since I was ten, when this weird obsession began.

When you are joking with Tala it is even more difficult. Together you are two halves of a whole. It is as if you were made to complete each other. Spencer once said that balance is everything to the world. It makes sense I suppose. Yin and Yang and all that. You and Tala balance each other out. He holds a special place in your heart. I am intensely jealous of him but I won't let it show because he matters too much to me as well.

Rei did not matter. He felt the force of my jealousy when we met you again at the Tournament. The only reason I did not injure him for life was that I knew he mattered to you. I just so wanted to hurt him like you were making me hurt. I wanted the pain I feel on the inside to show in bruises and wounds on him. A pretty little canvas of abuse. Shit, now I'm getting poetic. Anyway I've seen that Rei glances at me now and again with an odd light in his eyes. Maybe he still fear me though I have learned he is better than I first thought. Of course he is. After all he has earned a place in your life. But sometimes when he sends me that look I get the vibe that he knows about this secret of mine. That is bad because I do not want anyone to know about this. You and me: We are different but not opposites. In no world besides this fantasy of mine would we belong together. And that is okay. I can deal with not getting what I want. Life's a bitch. That is not about to change. Why am I even writing this? I am being ridiculous again. And my spelling suck. Get it together Bryan. And now you are writing to yourself. Can you get any more crazy?

* * *

Bryan twirled the pencil between his fingertips while reading his scrawly writing. The sponsorship meetings with the BBA always bored him to tears but writing something as sentimental and mushy as this... If he wasn't completely off his rocker before he was headed straight to the loony bin now.

"Bryan goddamn it. Wake up."

"What?"

"Meeting's over," Kai stated.

Bryan nodded and crumbled the piece of paper into a ball and sent it flying toward the trash can. He missed. Idiot, he groused to himself, is there anything you can do right in front of Kai? What makes Kai so special anyway?

Rising from his seat Bryan glared at Kai, trying to find his answer. What was it about a half breed rich kid that made him want to do all sorts of things just to seem cool or better than everyone else when at any other time he really could not care less.

There was nothing really special about him. He was muscled but any world class athlete was and Kai's bulk was nowhere near impressive. Especially as he was standing beside Spencer right then. He had weird hair, strange eyes that slanted and drew tribal markings on his cheeks. Okay granted he was kinda special but still. It wasn't that extraordinary. It it was freaks Bryan was after he could just as well be practically drooling over Mariah with her pink hair or Kenny for that matter. He shuddered at the last thought.

There was no answer to why it was Kai except that it simply was.

By now Kai was glaring back, clearly wondering why in the world Bryan was looking at him so angrily.

Bryan huffed and headed for the exit with long steps for the exit. His missed paper ball which was laying on the carpeted floor in the middle of the aisle got a none too gentle kick to the side. Utter idiocy.

Kai shook his head in bemusement and went to collect the paper ball. It had not gone far and it was his head on the line if any documents were left behind. He had better check if this was anything important.

**FIN**


End file.
